Tuesday, November 9, 2010

"Girls Don't Kiss Girls!" ...Or do they? My Internal Battle With My Preschooler

I would like to first make it clear to you I have no issue with homosexuals. (can I say that? Do I say 'gay'? I dont even know) Who you are attracted to is your own business and I see no reason why a person should not be proud of who they are. (unless you are an axe murderer, child rapist etc) This blog addresses an issue I am having in teaching my daughter the ways of the world. I myself am not gay, though I have kissed a girl or two in my lifetime, (suprise! Who hasnt?) and I went to the gay pride festival as a proud supporter. I do not intend to offend.

So my 4 year old is playing with her dolls. She has all girl dolls, not on purpose, but just simply because thats what she got for her birthday. She really wants to have a wedding with her dolls, but is upset that she doesnt have any boys for Barbie to marry. So I suggest that she pretends that one of the other girls is a boy and she can have a wedding that way. Her response?? After laughing hysterically for a moment she says "Girls dont kiss girls!!" And I must have looked like a deer in the headlights. I had no idea what to say. If I say "you're right, girls dont kiss girls", then I am teaching her that being gay is wrong or bad, if I say "sometimes girls kiss girls and boys kiss boys" this may be the beginning of 100 more harder questions and subjects a 4 year old doesn't quite comprehend.

Here is what I want to know... Whats the best thing to do here?? This is not the first time it has been brought up in our household and trust me, I have avoided it like the plague! I want my daugther to be open to other peoples lifestyles and not judgemental, but I also feel a little strange acting like I am completely comfortable with homosexuality and my child. Its very awkward for me, because I didnt learn about homosexuality until I was in the middle of elementary and my neighbor lady left her husband for a woman. The neighborhood gossiped about it and snickered when they would see 'the lesbians'. Thats pretty much what they became, not by name anymore, just 'the lesbians'. Though I have grown to understand 'to each his own' it still feels like a taboo subject to be teaching my child about. (I feel bad even typing that!!) I dont know where this internal force comes from that makes it seem 'weird' to talk about with Brooklyn, but it definitely is. So much so that I still have not addressed the issue. I smiled and changed the subject, as horrible as that may be.

I heard on the news they were introducing books into some school systems (preschool and up) that show different families. You know the ones, they tell you how some kids live with grandparents etc. and now they are showing it with two mommies or two daddies. And for whatever reason, I was slightly upset about this, then I feel guilty for feeling upset! It seems that I am tolerant of gay people, but an alarm goes off in my head with it comes to my child learning of it. WTH is wrong with me???

I have a friend that is a female happily coupled with a female. My friend has a child. Its none of my business, nor do I care to ask her, but I sometimes wonder if the child notices the uniqueness of her family. Will a gay couple raising a child possibly make that child more tolerant of gay people? I want to know if its something they will formally address, or just leave for the child to draw their own conclusions as they age. How did you address homosexuality with your child?

With how open the world is with being gay nowadays, I can only imagine that the world will be more and more tolerant of homosexuality as Brooklyn grows up. I do not want her to be intolerant of anyone for any reason, especially for something so silly as the gender of ones attraction, but when is an ok time to talk about it? How do I get past the thoughts of my parents that being gay is strange, because I certainly dont think it is. Should I? Help me out here, people.

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